62 Total Quotes

Robert Benchley Quotes Page 2

Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny #Language

Robert Benchley
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny

Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny #Man

Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny

Robert Benchley
A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.
Robert Benchley
#Birthday

Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny

Robert Benchley
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Work #Funny

Robert Benchley
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
#Man

Robert Benchley
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny #Universe

Robert Benchley
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
#Heart

Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny

Robert Benchley
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny

Robert Benchley
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
Robert Benchley
#Men

Robert Benchley
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.
Robert Benchley
#Doctors

Robert Benchley
So who's in a hurry?
Robert Benchley
#Hurry

Robert Benchley
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Robert Benchley
#American Comedian #Funny