92 Total Quotes

Rita Rudner Quotes Page 3

Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny #Love

Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them
Rita Rudner
#Children

Rita Rudner
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny #Man

Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny #Women

Rita Rudner
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
Rita Rudner
#Game

Rita Rudner
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
Rita Rudner
#Sports

Rita Rudner
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny