92 Total Quotes

Rita Rudner Quotes

Rita Rudner
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian #Love #Quote of the Day #Confession #Valentine's Day

Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian

Rita Rudner
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian #Office

Rita Rudner
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian #Quote of the Day

Rita Rudner
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian #Ballet

Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian #Boyfriend

Rita Rudner
They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian

Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
#Funny #American Comedian

Rita Rudner
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny

Rita Rudner
The entertainment complements what we do here. There is no better shopping than here and there are no better restaurants. There are a million ways to enjoy yourselves in Las Vegas.
Rita Rudner
#Entertainment

Rita Rudner
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
#Mother

Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
#American Comedian #Funny