34 Total Quotes

Red Skelton Quotes

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Laughter

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton Permalink
#Life

Exercise? I get in on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton Permalink
#Exercise

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Happiness #Funny

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Men #Funny

God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Children #Funny

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months.' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them.'
Red Skelton Permalink
#Graduation

Congress: Bingo with billions
Red Skelton Permalink
#Congress

Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose - to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny