155 Total Quotes

Ogden Nash Quotes

Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Age And Aging

Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Candy

Ogden Nash
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Alcohol And Alcoholism

Ogden Nash
Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Life

Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Age And Aging

Ogden Nash
An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Hope

Ogden Nash
Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Office

Ogden Nash
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Happiness

Ogden Nash
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Husband

Ogden Nash
Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Basketball

Ogden Nash
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet

Ogden Nash
They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread lines, and they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Unemployment

Ogden Nash
And one of his partners asked ''Has he vertigo?'' and the other glanced out and down and said ''Oh no, only about ten feet more.''
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Suicide

Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Marriage #Birthday #Funny

Ogden Nash
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Children

Ogden Nash
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Mind

Ogden Nash
In the words of the poet, When Duty whispers low, Thou must, this erstwhile youth replies, I just can't
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Duty

Ogden Nash
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Crime And Criminals

Ogden Nash
How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
Ogden Nash Permalink
#Obesity

Ogden Nash
I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet

Ogden Nash
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash Permalink
#American Poet #Life