76 Total Quotes

Lily Tomlin Quotes

Lily Tomlin
For fast acting relief, try slowing down
Lily Tomlin
#Acting And Actors

Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #Drugs

Lily Tomlin
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin
#Educational #Home

Lily Tomlin
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #Adulthood

Lily Tomlin
Because of my success on 'Laugh-In,' I'd play to sold-out comedy club houses at the same time, ... But when I'd do my routines, I'd play to virtually silent (houses) night after night. It seemed that although my audiences were rapt in attention, my humor wasn't what they were expecting. I don't do joke after joke after joke.
Lily Tomlin
#Comedy

Lily Tomlin
The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
#Race

Lily Tomlin
Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #Language

Lily Tomlin
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
Lily Tomlin
#American Comedian #Funny

Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
Teflon brain - nothing sticks
Lily Tomlin
#Brain

Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #God

Lily Tomlin
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #Belief

Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination
Lily Tomlin
#Imagination

Lily Tomlin
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch
Lily Tomlin
#Reality

Lily Tomlin
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress

Lily Tomlin
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin
#American Actress #Books And Reading

Lily Tomlin
The best mind-altering drug is truth
Lily Tomlin
#Mind