63 Total Quotes

Lenny Bruce Quotes

Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce
#Funny #American Comedian #Communism

Lenny Bruce
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce
#Funny #American Comedian #Beach

Lenny Bruce
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
#Funny #American Comedian #Children

Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce
#Funny #American Comedian #Audience

Lenny Bruce
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
#Funny #American Comedian

Lenny Bruce
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter
Lenny Bruce
#Anonymous

Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
#Humorous #Despair

Lenny Bruce
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them
Lenny Bruce
#Liberals

Lenny Bruce
Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an ''act'' and he told the audience, ''This is my act.'' Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
#Comedy

Lenny Bruce
The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.
Lenny Bruce
#American Comedian #People #Funny

Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
#American Comedian #Funny

Lenny Bruce
A lot of people say to me, `Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
Lenny Bruce
#People

Lenny Bruce
A lot of people say to me, ''Why did you kill Christ?'' ''I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.'' ''We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.''
Lenny Bruce
#People #Jesus Christ

Lenny Bruce
The whole motivation for any performer is "Look at me, Ma
Lenny Bruce
#Motivational

Lenny Bruce
In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls
Lenny Bruce
#Justice

Lenny Bruce
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do...."
Lenny Bruce
#Love