35 Total Quotes

Joseph Heller Quotes

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more.
Joseph Heller
#Heroism

Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Joseph Heller
#Success #Depression

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Choice

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Destiny

Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Trouble

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Mediocrity

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Enemies

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Literature

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #Country

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist #War

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

Rise above principal and do what's right.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
#American Novelist

[(CNN) --] Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy, ... Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts -- and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?
Joseph Heller
#Society