43 Total Quotes

Joe Lewis Quotes

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Joe Lewis
#Friends Or Friendship #Quote of the Day #Funny

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
Joe Lewis
#Speakers And Speaking #Genius

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
Joe Lewis
#Food And Eating #Diets And Dieting

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Joe Lewis
#American Actor #Drunk

We can afford almost any mistake once.
Joe Lewis
#Mistakes

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks
Joe Lewis
#Diets And Dieting

The entrepreneurial approach is not a sideline at 3M. It is the heart of our design for growth.
Joe Lewis
#Design #Growth

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe Lewis
#American Comedian #Quote of the Day #Funny

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe Lewis
#Animals #Distrust

It pays to get drunk with the best people.
Joe Lewis
#People #Alcohol And Alcoholism

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Joe Lewis
#American Comedian #Funny

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
Joe Lewis
#Youth

I drink to forget I drink.
Joe Lewis
#Alcohol And Alcoholism

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
Joe Lewis
#Alcohol And Alcoholism #Man

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
Joe Lewis
#Medicine

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
Joe Lewis
#Gambling

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
Joe Lewis
#Money

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Joe Lewis
#Girls