81 Total Quotes

Jay London Quotes

Jay London
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
Jay London Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Identity

Jay London
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Father

Jay London
I was born nine months premature.
Jay London Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian

Jay London
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
Jay London Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian

Jay London
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Jay London
I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Jay London
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Jay London
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny #Hair

Jay London
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny #Personality

Jay London
I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.
Jay London Permalink
#Lonely

Jay London
I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Jay London
You know what burns me? Matches.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Jay London
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
Jay London Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny #Army