389 Total Quotes

H.L. Mencken Quotes

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat
H.L. Mencken,
#God

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer #Dating

If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x X y is less than y
H.L. Mencken,
#Population

The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality
H.L. Mencken,
#Education

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer

A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it
H.L. Mencken,
#Home

Many an American Congressman comes to Washington from a district attorney's office: you may be sure that he is seldom promoted because he has been jealous of the liberties of the citizen
H.L. Mencken,
#Office

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer #First Love

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
H.L. Mencken,
#Age And Aging

To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason
H.L. Mencken,
#Reason

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer #Children

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
H.L. Mencken,
#Age And Aging

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer #Art

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
H.L. Mencken,
#American Writer #Cigarette

If you want peace, work for justice.
H.L. Mencken,
#Justice

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
H.L. Mencken,
#Trust #Friends Or Friendship

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
H.L. Mencken,
#Democracy

There is only one justification for having sinned, and that is to be glad of it
H.L. Mencken,
#Justification

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
H.L. Mencken,
#Politicians And Politics

In order to teach chemistry or psychology or even history or Greek a man must actually know something, but for the teacher of English nothing seems to be necessary beyond a crude capacity to read and write
H.L. Mencken,
#History

During many a single week, I daresay, more money is spent in New York upon useless and evil things than would suffice to run the kingdom of Denmark for a year
H.L. Mencken,
#Evil

The surest way to get on in politics in America is to play the leading part in a prosecution which attracts public notice
H.L. Mencken,
#America

School teachers, taking them by and large, are probably the most ignorant and stupid class of men in the whole group of mental workers
H.L. Mencken,
#Class

Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted
H.L. Mencken,
#Democracy