237 Total Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian

Groucho Marx
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#American Comedian #Funny

Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Books And Reading

Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Boss

Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian

Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Quote of the Day #Art

Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Quote of the Day

Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Quote of the Day #Bed

Groucho Marx
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian #Control

Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian

Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Resignation

Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Expenditure

Groucho Marx
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx Permalink
#Funny #American Comedian