136 Total Quotes

George Burns Quotes

George Burns
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns
#Funny #American Comedian #Beginning #Quote of the Day

George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
#Funny #American Comedian

George Burns
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair
George Burns
#Country

George Burns
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
#Bores And Boredom

George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
#Funny #American Comedian #Longevity

George Burns
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Funny #Age And Aging

George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Funny

George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Funny #Age And Aging

George Burns
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Money #Funny

George Burns
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Funny #Future

George Burns
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns
#American Comedian #Funny #Future

George Burns
I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoyed than be a success at something I hate.
George Burns
#Failure

George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
#American Comedian