64 Total Quotes

Garrison Keillor Quotes

Garrison Keillor
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Home

Garrison Keillor
Let's do the nuances,
Garrison Keillor
#Nuances

Garrison Keillor
One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison Keillor
#Debt #Brotherhood

Garrison Keillor
That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average
Garrison Keillor
#Men

Garrison Keillor
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
#Ancestry

Garrison Keillor
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
#Mother

Garrison Keillor
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Greed

Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Books And Reading

Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Lies And Lying

Garrison Keillor
A Democrat in a red state? ... Were you elected, or is this a divine miracle?
Garrison Keillor
#Democrats

Garrison Keillor
All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life.
Garrison Keillor
#Fiction

Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it
Garrison Keillor
#Coffee

Garrison Keillor
It is the classic Freaks, Fatties, Fanatics and Faux Culture Excursion beloved of European journalists for the past 50 years.
Garrison Keillor
#Culture

Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
Garrison Keillor
#Beauty

Garrison Keillor
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Comedy

Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Children

Garrison Keillor
In your 50s, instead of panicking about the income you need to build up in the next 15 or 20 years, your best move is to concentrate on getting your costs down. If you will need less to live on in retirement, then you won't need to risk desperate accumulation strategies now. Right? That's a pretty basic point that everyone seems to miss. I want you to make cost reduction Plan A in your Late-Start Retirement Strategy.
Garrison Keillor
#Income

Garrison Keillor
A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
Garrison Keillor
#American Writer #Joy

Garrison Keillor
It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my home town, out here on the edge of the prairie
Garrison Keillor
#Home

Garrison Keillor
It's an honor to be taken off the air. I had to wait until I was 63. You are nobody in radio until you've been fired at least once, and I've never been fired. At least it's vindication.
Garrison Keillor
#Honor

Garrison Keillor
I don't do awards.
Garrison Keillor
#Awards

Garrison Keillor
They said it would be terrible if the show were not in St. Paul. I listen to people who tug at my sleeve.
Garrison Keillor
#People