170 Total Quotes

Erma Bombeck Quotes

Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Advice

Erma Bombeck
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
#Action #inspirational #Life And Death #Quote of the Day #Editor's Pick

Erma Bombeck
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist

Erma Bombeck
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist

Erma Bombeck
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Comedy

Erma Bombeck
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist

Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Editor's Pick #Quote of the Day #Funny #Short

Erma Bombeck
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
Erma Bombeck
#Graduation #Adults

Erma Bombeck
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist

Erma Bombeck
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Automobile

Erma Bombeck
The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to drop?
Erma Bombeck
#Bad

Erma Bombeck
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
Erma Bombeck
#Food

Erma Bombeck
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Civilization

Erma Bombeck
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist

Erma Bombeck
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
#Child-raising

Erma Bombeck
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
#American Journalist #Attitude