86 Total Quotes

Dan Castellaneta Quotes

Dan Castellaneta
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Alcohol And Alcoholism

Dan Castellaneta
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson #Man

Dan Castellaneta
Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Blame

Dan Castellaneta
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#American Actor

Dan Castellaneta
Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Football

Dan Castellaneta
I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Hard

Dan Castellaneta
Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Communism

Dan Castellaneta
English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#England

Dan Castellaneta
Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Boys

Dan Castellaneta
Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Killing

Dan Castellaneta
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#American Actor

Dan Castellaneta
OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Fun

Dan Castellaneta
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#People

Dan Castellaneta
I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Blame

Dan Castellaneta
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Facts

Dan Castellaneta
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Food

Dan Castellaneta
Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#American Actor #Duty

Dan Castellaneta
This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Computers #Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Faces

Dan Castellaneta
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Blame

Dan Castellaneta
Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Simpson

Dan Castellaneta
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is - and it's me.
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#God

Dan Castellaneta
Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
Dan Castellaneta Permalink
#Computers