91 Total Quotes

Bill Watterson Quotes

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves! . . . HEY! What time is it?? My TV show is on!
Bill Watterson
#Control

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist #Best Friends

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist #Clarity

They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
Bill Watterson
#Authority

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Bill Watterson
#Funny #American Cartoonist

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a little knowledge of how the game works.
Bill Watterson
#Business

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.
Bill Watterson
#Example

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist #Present

If someone wants to be a cartoonist, let's see him develop his own strip instead of taking over the duties of someone else's. We've got too many comic strip corpses being propped up and passed for living by new cartoonists who ought to be doing something of their own. If a cartoonist isn't good enough to make it on his own work, he has no business being in the newspaper.
Bill Watterson
#Cartoonist

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist #Food

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery -- it recharges by running.
Bill Watterson
#Mind

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist #Science

Let it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
Bill Watterson
#Discrimination

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
Bill Watterson
#American Cartoonist

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.
Bill Watterson
#Hollywood

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
Bill Watterson
#Childhood