93 Total Quotes

Bill Maher Quotes

Bill Maher
In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show . . .
Bill Maher
#Football

Bill Maher
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.
Bill Maher
#English Composer

Bill Maher
When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That’s something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. When they talk about values, they’re talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being loyal to Jesus, praying. These are not values.
Bill Maher
#Generosity

Bill Maher
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Airplane And Aviation

Bill Maher
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Bill Maher
#English Composer

Bill Maher
The true Axis of Evil in America is the genius of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
Bill Maher
#America

Bill Maher
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Iraq

Bill Maher
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Experience

Bill Maher
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Intelligence

Bill Maher
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
#People #English Composer

Bill Maher
. . . remember, guns don't kill people -- unless you practice real hard.
Bill Maher
#People

Bill Maher
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Conservative

Bill Maher
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Bill Maher
#People #English Composer

Bill Maher
Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can’t the rest of us make them go away?!
Bill Maher
#Country

Bill Maher
A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Drugs

Bill Maher
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
Bill Maher
#English Composer

Bill Maher
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country
Bill Maher
#Country

Bill Maher
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Rest

Bill Maher
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher
#English Composer #Ego

Bill Maher
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher
#English Composer