67 Total Quotes

Andy Rooney Quotes

Andy Rooney
Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but that they need government help to organize their lives. They believe in freedom so fervently that they think it should be compulsory. They believe that the poor and ignorant are victims of an unfair system and that their circumstances can be improved if we give them help. Republicans (I think to myself) are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and then
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#Democrats

Andy Rooney
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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#Earth

Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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#American Scientist

Andy Rooney
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'
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#Meaning

Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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#American Scientist #Happiness

Andy Rooney
Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts an
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#Money

Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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#American Scientist #News

Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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#American Scientist #Computers

Andy Rooney
If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.
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#American Scientist #Smile

Andy Rooney
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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#American Scientist #Happiness #inspirational

Andy Rooney
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Andy Rooney Permalink
#American Scientist #Food

Andy Rooney
I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
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#Letters

Andy Rooney
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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#American Scientist

Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
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#American Scientist #Comfort

Andy Rooney
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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#American Scientist #Death

Andy Rooney
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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#American Scientist

Andy Rooney
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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#American Scientist

Andy Rooney
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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#American Scientist #People

Andy Rooney
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney Permalink
#American Scientist

Andy Rooney
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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#American Scientist