Dumb

(19 votes)   Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(144 votes)   Harry Dunne: [Harry is covered in mud and hit by Jessica's dad's car] Charlie!
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God... it's you... you're the guy that crapped up my house! What are you... you're covered in ******! My car's covered in ******!
Harry Dunne: No, no, no, no... It's not that?
[gets off the hood and starts to walk off]
Jessica's Dad: There's crap all over my hood! You got feces all over my mercedes! It's in my grill! My car's covered in ****!
Lloyd: Who's that?
Harry Dunne: Jessica's Dad? she says he's really anal.
Lloyd: [winces, disgusted] Ew... ugh, that's gross.
Jessica's Dad: [as they walk off, fading out] Get back here! I'm not cleaning this up! I'm gonna have to have this towed! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and *fecal* matter?
[fade out]


Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd 2003

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(136 votes)   Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(129 votes)   Beth: So I told myself. Beth you just got to run girl and oh you know what that clutz did next?
Lloyd: No and I DON'T CARE!


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(128 votes)   Harry: I don't get it, Lloyd. She told me ten o clock, sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?
Lloyd: Yep. I'm pretty sure. Lobby bar right by the lobby. Maybe she just had a change of heart.
Harry: Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now... wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o clock at night!
Lloyd: Do you think...?
Harry: Why would she meet you in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(127 votes)   Harry: What's her last name? I'll look it up.
Lloyd: You know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S! Let's see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry: Maybe it's on the briefcase.
Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It's right here.
[He reads the manufacturer's name, which is Samsonite]
Lloyd: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(121 votes)   Harry Dunne: Yeah. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.


Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd 2003

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(120 votes)   Airport Clerk: Sir, you can't go in there!
Lloyd: It's ok, I'm a limo driver!


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(120 votes)   Beth: [at the gas station] Uh sir, you're... you're spraying everywhere...


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(115 votes)   Harry: Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...
Lloyd: Okay, Kill Him!


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(111 votes)   Harry: You found my treasure? Why didn't you tell me?
Lloyd Christmas: Three words: I did.


Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd 2003

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(110 votes)   Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(102 votes)   Harry: Skis, huh?
Beth: That's right!
Harry: Great! They yours?
Beth: Uh-huh.
Harry: Both of 'em?
Beth: Yes.
Harry: Ah... cool!


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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(97 votes)   [Lewis is getting his mascot's head taken off]
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.


Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd 2003

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(80 votes)   [coming out of the 7-11]
Lloyd: Hey guys. Oh, big gulps huh? All right! Well, see ya later.


Dumb & Dumber 1994

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