A Bit of Fry and Laurie

(17 votes)   Michelle: You called the cops!
Laurie: My mother did!


The Stalking of Laurie Show (TV) 2000

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(11 votes)   [vox pop - showing the places on his body]
Stephen: The cut me right round that way to see if they could find anything. Then they had a dig about down here. Still nothing. So they poked this thing up my... you know... had a look up there. Nothing. I'm going through the red channel next time.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(16 votes)   Hugh: Hello and welcome to Flying a Light Aeroplane Without Having Had Any Formal Instruction With...”.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(14 votes)   [Vox pop]
Stephen: So I said Why don't you shove it where the sun don't shine and so he did. He put it in the cupboard under the stairs and it hasn't been mentioned since.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(13 votes)   Hugh: Good evening and welcome to Realizing I've Given The Wrong Directions To...”. Tonight I shall be Realizing I've Given The Wrong Directions To Rabbi Michael Leibovitz. Rabbi...
[suddenly realises, mutters:]
Hugh: Oh, god.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(13 votes)   Stephen: If you try and kill them, you're put in prison; if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There's only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(13 votes)   Tabbitha: I thought that would make you happy.
Michelle: Nothing makes me happy. I wont be happy until Laurie Show has paid for the pain and suffering she has caused me and my baby.


The Stalking of Laurie Show (TV) 2000

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(12 votes)   [vox pop]
Hugh: And then my bereavement counsellor died. I didn't know who to turn to.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(12 votes)   [vox pop]
Hugh: Moira Stewart... and Jill Gascoigne... neither of them wrote back. Can you believe these people? I mean how much trouble can it be to just bung a pair of stockings in the post?


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(12 votes)   [vox pop]
Hugh: What's the difference between a man and a woman?
[no reply]
Hugh: Oh.
[wanders off and stops someone else]
Hugh: Excuse me. What's the difference between a man and a woman?


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(11 votes)   [vox pop - as policeman]
Hugh: People often ask what we keep under our helmets. Well, I'll show you.
[takes off his helmet and looks very pleased with himself - puts his hand on top of his head and feels around]
Hugh: Hold up, some bastard's nicked it.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(11 votes)   [vox pop]
Stephen: Allergies? Well, I'm not good on strawberries, come out in a bit of a rash. The worst one though is Marmite. Only got to smell the stuff and I start voting Conservative.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(10 votes)   Stephen: You have a daughter, I believe?
Hugh: Yeah. Yeah, Henrietta.
Stephen: Did he, did he? I'm sorry to hear that.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(9 votes)   Stephen: Delivery. In a modern society jokes must be delivered on time. If you experience any delivery where the timing is too...
Hugh: ...slow?
Stephen: ...or if the timing should be t...
Hugh: [interrupts Fry] quick, - or, if the joke never even...
[stops speaking]
Stephen: ...then the commission will be only too happy to look into it. The Comedy Charter. Peace of mind.
Hugh: Audience power.
Stephen: Your guarantee of satisfaction and delivery.
Hugh: Without dripping.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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(9 votes)   [vox pop]
Hugh: I can't stop now, my wife is being towed away.


A Bit of Fry and Laurie 1986

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